Ryan Donnelly's Blog

How Low Can You Go? Part II

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Because I feel like most people grasp the severity of addiction when they hear horror stories, I thought that I would add on to yesterday’s post, and show you how much lower I was able to go. I pretty much played limbo for a good two years, each passing day, I was brought lower and lower to the ground, and if I hadn’t stopped when I did, well, I’d be in the ground. This I know to be truth.

I stole, I did, and it wasn’t just taking random pieces of gold from family and friends. I was stealing, no, I was ripping memories out from under them. No warning.

While I was waiting on the promise of a fix, and Jess’ senses were already noticeably heightened because of her already missing jewelry, my next option was to go to my mother’s house. Like most parents, she worked 9-5 and like most kids, I knew where she kept all of her “good jewelry. Thinking back on it now, I wish I never knew where it was. But, I did, and to the pawn shop it went. I would take whatever I could find and then some.

One day while I was doing what I normally did, nothing, I got one of those infamous frantic phone calls that I had come to know all too well. This time it was my mom. She was devastated and thought her house was robbed. Obviously I knew otherwise, but I convinced her, or thought I did, that this was the case, that the house was broken into and I hadn‘t the slightest clue who or why someone would do such a thing. I even went as far as to tell her to go the police department immediately. I mean what did I care? I was high and wasn’t going to have this pinned on me to bring me down.

Guess I had to find somewhere else to find the gold that was feeding my habit. My options were getting smaller and smaller and I was on to the next victim.

My father had just moved into a new house, and had a pretty crazy neighbor that he told stories about frequently. To the average person this was all good and funny, but to me, well, this was the perfect person to pin my next robbery on. After a couple of visits I had know-how of his new neighborhood, a window that had easy access, and a crazy neighbor that wanders around to people’s doors. I was golden. No pun intended.

I robbed his house, and stole $250 worth of jewelry. I don’t know why but the amount of money I got for his jewelry is the only one I can remember clearly. Maybe it was because it was for one piece, or maybe it was starting to get bad, and I knew it. Maybe in that instant I had a moment of clarity and felt guilt. Whatever the reason, and whatever the feeling, I was seconds away from numbing it till it couldn’t rear its head again.

As the fates would have it, while at my sister’s wedding, both of my parents began discussing a similar occurrence that had happened to them very recently. And what do you know? Over cocktails they both found out they had been robbed. What a coincidence. Another beautiful family moment, ruined by yours truly.

After that I knew they knew and it was only a matter of time. In the mean time Jess graduated from college, and along with that came a big graduation party and lots of “graduation money.” Or at least that’s how I looked at it. Jess kept it in a bank envelope until she could go and deposit it. Only when she went to the bank and took it out, it was empty. Four years of her hard work, down the drain. The sad part, I mean if that’s not already sad enough, it only got me high for a day or so. She trusted me so much she wouldn’t even think to accuse me. But the walls were closing in around me…

The day I broke into a friends parents house (the second house of a friend I ended up robbing) would be the day that marked the beginning to the end of my run. I knew that this family would be on vacation and it was the perfect target in my warped head. I was so far gone at this point that I just drove Jess’s car right up in front of the house and walked to the backyard and into the house I went. I can’t even go into the amount of priceless jewelry I stole, and the memories that I robbed.

As I left the empty house, I saw that a neighbor was looking at me. He saw all of me, including my large identifiable tattoo I have on my calf, and the car I was driving. I was caught, and the crazy, insane part of it of all? It didn’t phase me. Not one bit.

It was all about to come crashing down on me…

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