Ryan Donnelly's Blog

Mind Refresh After Opiate Addiction

Most people want to fit in with the crowd. They want to be a part of something they think is important or cool. They will transform themselves in order to merge and be like the others. In doing so they start to judge themselves against others and do everything in their power to be accepted.

Recently I found myself doing this and I just realized it during my long run today. I have been trying WAY too hard to be accepted by someone that I lost track of who I am. I became very self conscience and judged the hell out of every action I did. Now if you know me well, or have read this blog for some time, this is not who I am. Over my time being clean I built an acceptance of who I was. Comfortable with everything about myself. And for the last 2 weeks I lost that. Don’t have any idea why, but it pissed me off today. I don’t have to change who I am to be accepted, I am what I am as Popeye said.

The run I had today in the heat cracked my mind open. For some reason, reality clocks me in the dome every time I head out to pound the pavement. I apologize to myself and even more so for losing track of who I am. Mind refreshed. :)

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