Ryan Donnelly's Blog

More Frequent Posts

I was told today by a good friend that this site needs more frequent posts.  He gave it to me straight and I like that.  So here goes.

A frequent question that is asked of me often is if I get cravings, an itch to use, thoughts of using, if it ever crosses my mind.  The last time I had a craving was 8 months ago.  It lasted about 2 hours.  Did I think I would go out and use, no.  And the reason I know I wouldn’t is what this post is about.

Times come along for all recovering addicts where something triggers a memory, it could be a smell of a dealers cologne that catches your nose, the parking lot of a place you used to pick up or just even a song that was popular when you were messed up.  It’s how you handle these situations that matter.  Should you feel guilty for having a craving?  Of course not, but what you can do is take a deep breath and think of it from outside of your personal situation.  I like to think right back to laying the hospital bed, looking up at my fiance Jess’s face swollen with tears.  That image is a strong memory that sends shivers down my spine.  I think of the people who look up to me for help. The choice I have made to dedicate my life to this.  This blog, my videos, my new way of life are tools for accountability. I have set up a fortress to keep my life green daily.  I never forget how low I went and it’s because I am so active in this that is a major factor to how I handle a craving.

I tell each addict I speak with to keep a journal.  If you don’t like to write, use a tape recorder, digital recorder, video camera, whatever it takes to get your emotions out that you feel.  Document your recovery so when things get rough, you can go back to the beginning and see first hand your OWN thoughts from the start.  How you thought about life in the first couple days or weeks of your recovery.

Keeping your mind green is the most important part of recovery in my eyes.  My opinion is that there is no cure for addiction.  Their is however traits you can learn to re-direct your addiction in a positive direction.  There is a famous saying that my Nana told me during my first couple months through my recovery.  It’s only 10 words, each are two letters and they are powerful.  ”If it is to be it is up to me.”

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